The Artist and the Hunter 13

    Artemis knocked on the door to Victoria's guest room, then leaned toward it to recieve a response, or any proof that she was aware of his presence. He heard a loud sniff, then,
"Come in."
Artemis opened the door, but did not enter the room. "Are you certain?"
Victoria was on the bed, her laptop on a pillow on her lap. She wiped her eyes vigorously, then looked sideways at him and grimaced. "I guess not."
He nodded. "What are you doing?"
"E-mailing my family. Telling them that my gifts will be a couple-- weeks late." She sniffed again. "I feel horrible. How could I forget Christmas? It puts one's life in perspective, you know?"
Artemis leaned against the doorframe, thumbs in his jacket pockets. "I suppose."
"This is-- my first Christmas away from my family," she said. Her voice grew softer as she continued. "They would have put up the Christmas tree weeks ago. And hung lights all over the house..." Her eyes glassed over again, and she looked down at her hands, "and that really weird light-up jalapeño in the kitchen. I--"
The boy genius shuffled a bit. He might have been a prodigy, but he was still a man, and men, as a rule, hate seeing women cry. Remembering his psychology, Artemis tried to turn Victoria's train of thought down a happier route.
"How many people are in your family?" Artemis asked.
Victoria smiled through her tears. "Eight, including myself. I'm the oldest of six." She stared into the distance. "The youngest is-- ten now." She shook herself and rubbed her eyes again, then closed the laptop and turned to Artemis.
"So, what did you want?"
"When are you going to go shopping for them?" Artemis asked, ignoring her question.
Victoria raised her eyebrows at him, but answered. "Later today, hopefully. I was going to call Joseph and Jenna to come pick me up."
Artemis nodded, thinking. "Five days to Christmas... so that would mean about 7,000 kilometers..."
"What?"
"Nothing. But since you have some time before they come, why don't you come decorate the house with my family? I know it cannot compare with your own family's endeavors, but--" Artemis faltered, for Victoria was grinning at him, pure joy spreading from her smile into her eyes. It was the most genuine smile she'd ever given him.
As if realizing how obviously excited she was, Victoria swallowed her joy and nodded. "Thanks, Artemis, that would be awesome." She jumped off the bed and walked over to the doorway. Feeling a bit more like herself, as she passed by she said smartly, "Maybe you aren't such a snob after all."
Artemis covered his mouth with a hand, feeling slightly light-headed. Was he getting sick? "You-- are a complicated woman." he growled, not necessarily an insult. Victoria turned again and grinned at him. Artemis frowned back, feeling his chest pang once.
"I think you win the contest for being complicated." She laughed, making a comical sight, her puffy, red eyes juxtaposed against her smile. She ran ahead down the stairs, and Artemis followed behind at a walk, rubbing his chest under his dress jacket.
"I need to take an anti-acid," he decided.

     After finishing decorating the Fowl Manor, Jenna and Joseph picked up Victoria and they went to George's Street Arcade to search for her last-minute Christmas gifts. To Jenna's acute interest and Joseph's dismay, she could only talk about one subject.
"Then, Artemis set the manor up with its own radio frequency!" Victoria situated the shopping bags in her hands and caught her breath, "and he rigged the lights to sync to any song he put into the system! I'm going to upload the Hamster Song into it sometime, just to mess with him."
Jenna laughed, but Joseph, walking on the other side of his sister, just sighed and pretended to window shop, even though they were in the women's clothing section of the arcade.
"Joseph, are you OK?" Victoria asked. "You've been awfully quiet."
"Well, you've just been talking a lot about that Artemis character. I thought you asked us to shop with you to get away from that snob, not to talk about him constantly."
     The American grimaced. Joseph's animosity was well placed. At the beginning of the evening, when the twins had come to pick her up, the whole Fowl family (except Butler) had come to the door to greet them. Artemis talked to Jenna rather cordially, but when it came to Joseph, his attitude did a complete 180. Artemis looked Joseph over, then gave one of his signature smirks.
"Kerry folk coming all the way to Dublin? Well, I admire your ambition, trying to fit in in the big city, but after three years of failing, boyo, one would think you'd get a clue."
Joseph opened his mouth to object, but nothing would come out. Everything Artemis had said in such a derogatory tone had, in a way, been true. Joseph and his sister did hail from Kerry, and they had been there three years. Artemis had also managed to touch on some of the twin's personal concerns, and Joseph hated him for it.
Artemis had given his opinion in low tones, so only Joseph and Victoria heard (Jenna was talking with Angeline and Juliet). Victoria elbowed her host for his rude comment, then announced it was time to go.
    "I'll get back at him for you later," Victoria promised, shaking off the memory, "and even video tape it, if you like." Joseph smirked a little, but did not smile, so she continued, "And I'm sorry I've been talking so much about him-- I've just been spending a lot of time with him, is all. He's-- not so bad once you know how to handle him."
"And you know how to handle him?" Joseph grinned sarcastically.
Victoria buried her face in her scarf, continuing in muffled tones, "Sort of." Then she perked up, as if recalling something. "Speaking of whom," she said ponderously, "I still have to get him a present."
"Why?!" both twins asked in unison, Joseph louder than Jenna.
"Because this is part of 'handling' him," Victoria answered defensively, "I don't think-- he gets a lot of presents, or positive attention. So anything nice I do for him helps me get my job done that much easier."
"So there is no-- ulterior motive?" Jenna raised an eyebrow conspiratorially. Joseph rolled his eyes, but looked intrigued as well.
"Well, yeah, I guess..." the twins leaned closer as Victoria looked into one of her shopping bags resignedly. "I already bought gifts for the rest of his family, and I cringe to think of the torture he would inflict on me if I forgot him on purpose."
Jenna pouted, disappointed, but Joseph finally broke into a genuine laugh.
    The trio tried several stores in the arcade before coming across the types of items that Victoria were confident would suit Artemis or, in some cases, definitely wouldn't suit him. Soon, the twins were in on the game, choosing ridiculous wigs and trinkets to give the all-business heir.
"What about these?" Joseph held up a pair of neon jogging shorts for Victoria's speculation.
"That's perfect!" she joked, lifting a pink handbag with "feel like a WOMAN" printed on the side. "It would go great with this purse!"
"And this lipstick!" Jenna giggled, adding a dark red tube to the collection. "It's totally his color."
"Totally!" Joseph and Victoria agreed, and all three burst out laughing.
"Wait a minute guys, wait--" Victoria choked through giggles as the "Bad Boys" song emanated from her pocket. "It's him! Shhhh--" she flipped open the phone, putting her free hand over her other ear to muffle the sound of rush-hour shoppers.
"Hello?"
"Yes, Ms. Bering? This is Artemis Fowl, though you no doubt deduced this from your slightly offensive Bob Marley ringtone."
Victoria blanched, and her friends, seeing her paler expression, ceased in their giggling.
"Anyhow, I called to inform you that, despite your Christmas oversight, you are still on a schedule. So if you would take a break from joking at my expense, you are need back home-- here-- as soon as possible."
The American was shaking now, looking around desperately for security cameras. Had he hacked the street mall's system?
"How did you--"
"Simplicity itself. A few days ago, I installed a camera on your glasses while you were in the shower. You really shouldn't leave your glasses on the desk while in the bath."
"Why you li-- how could you--" Victoria sputtered, reaching up to yank off her glasses.
Artemis chuckled irritatingly. "No, don't take off your glasses, Ms. Bering, I am not serious." She wished she could strangle him through the phone. "I know of your actions because you just confirmed them, and if you do not want me to hold it against you, you should start taking your occupation more seriously."
Victoria sighed, rolling her eyes at her waiting friends to show her disdain. "Fine. I'll be back in about an hour and a half. Can you survive without me for that much longer."
"It will be a stretch," Artemis played along, "but we shall wait with bated breath until your return."
"Jerk." she replied. Artemis laughed, and hung up.

    Artemis disconnected the call with a chuckle, even though it had not been his idea to phone the American in the first place; his mother had insisted on it, though he did not know why Angeline did not ring Victoria herself. The young genius had barely noticed the artist's absence, having holed up in his study, working feverishly on a cure for the impending epidemic.
    The more he studied what little Holly was able to give him, the more he feared that this case was much more complex than it appeared. The disease was a hybrid of the fairy cold and cancer, he was sure of that, but now he was wondering whether the illness was specific to fairies, or if it could be transferred to humans. If a human caught that disease, it could result in a plague worse than the Black Death.
    Thankfully, the cases Holly told him about did not seem to be contagious. However, if the disease was being specifically manufactured, as Artemis feared, that could be remedied. So, for both the humans' and the fairies' sakes, Artemis was working on a cure for cancer, to take care of the deadlier half of this new strain. Artemis had worked on cures before, of course, but they were always side-projects, and besides, his specialty was in physics and electronics, not in medicinal biology. Now, though, the genius decided it was time to finish what he'd started.
    "Whatcha working on, Mud Boy?"
"Holly," Artemis smiled genuinely, looking up from a petri dish. "I needed to see a kind complexion. I'm working on a cure for cancer, but it isn't as easy as one would initially assume. There is a reason why many of the greatest minds on earth have not yet cracked its code."
"Don't worry, Arty," she smiled, her hazel-and-blue eyes squinting prettily, "you're good at cracking things. Where's Butler?"
"I believe he is helping Juliet with my brothers. Most often they obey her every whim, but even she cannot get them to bed without a fight."
Holly laughed at the mental image, then was all business again. "Have you considered my suggestion to go to the Council?"
"Holly, you know they won't listen..."
"Yes, I know, but we've got to try." The captain bit her lip. "Another one was diagnosed today. A pixie, only thirteen years old. Where does a thirteen year old catch a deadly disease?"
"If fairy teenagers are anything like human teenagers," Artemis mumbled, focusing his telescope, "the question is; where don't they contract diseases?"
"Artemis, this is serious! Fairies are dying--"
"I know that Holly!" Artemis interrupted in a stern voice, his eyes glassy from fatigue and stress. "I feel the weight of these deaths as heavily as you do. But going to the Council now could hinder our cause, not help it. Consider our options."
"I have, Artemis." Holly replied, her voice just as hard, "I'm sorry this investigation is so hard on you, but we have to try everything."
Artemis ran a hand through his raven hair. Even though he was able to act like his normal self around his family, the case was taking a bigger toll on him than he had anticipated. It wasn't just the complexity of the illness or the lack of evidence that worried him. Lying to his mother, taking care of family affairs, and managing their new guest also weighed heavily on his mind.
"Alright," he conceded. "Go to the council. I will send you my findings, but be sure to have Foaly look over them for a fairy reference."
"Thank you, Artemis." Holly said softly. She did not really have to thank him, or even ask for his permission, but the look in his eyes told her he appreciated that she did.
"I will be there in two weeks, Arty. We can discuss the case in person, and I will give you something tangible to work with." She sighed as he smiled wanly at her. She hated it when he smiled like that; he looked so much older than his 19 years. "Artemis, I'm sorry for pressuring you to give me answers with so little evidence." She ran a thin hand through her cropped hair and exhaled out of the side of her mouth in frustration. "I mean, the samples you need are sitting right in my desk drawer! If only there were some way to get it to the surface without any-- wait. D-Arvit, why didn't I think of it before?"
Artemis looked up from his tests and over at Holly, his curiosity blatant.
She grinned back at him, a mischievous gleam in her eye. "Who does a fairy go to if they want something done effectively and most-likely illegally?"
Artemis grinned toothily, his canines shining in the lamplight. "Mulch Diggums."